In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
