I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
