Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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