we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
