I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize