Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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