Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
