like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
