We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
