If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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