Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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