some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
