OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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