i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My ass is underappreciated
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
