You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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