Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
