Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
