were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
