I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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