my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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