I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
