i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
