He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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