i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
