Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I FOUND THE LEGS
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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