oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
