she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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