so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
