see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize