she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
