Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
please come you make the beer taste better
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
