I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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