nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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