I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
