Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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