Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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