Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
