I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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