I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize