just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
