apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
