she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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