I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
