the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize