it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
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How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
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She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize