can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize