either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
