Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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