I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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