This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
