He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize