He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
