Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
