Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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