just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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