can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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