He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
