She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
