i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
